nonsense, vanity, suspicion

reviews of new food: taco nachos

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:39:13 GMT

For McSweeney's.

*

On road trips, I am a self-designated dietitian. "Get some pretzels at the Circle K," I suggest when our stomachs start rumbling. "We can eat dinner once we get to the hotel." I munch my own pretzels half-heartedly, checking that their sodium content is within our daily values.

Yet the democratic consensus is Jack in the Box. As we cruise past the drive-thru menu, I aim to exercise the fifth even as my pretzels grow a little more flavorless. My eyes idly scan the pictoral pantheon of microwave Americana, each burger combo lustily coated with grease. In the bottom-right, a single line catches me off guard. I find myself abruptly frozen in a moment of zen. Can it be? Two foods, perfect in themselves, lexically conjoined to create a superfood. Though I gasp in reverent disbelief, my chord is struck. I am affected on a personal level, as if this enlightened formula were derived for me alone, even while it makes perfect sense as the product of some desire of the collective unconscious. Could this be the new peanut-butter and jelly, the new Romeo and Juliet? I blink. My bourgeois boycott goes right out the rolled-down window. The shape it takes is, "Taco Nachos, please!"

The menu displays no photo. The alchemical result of tacos and nachos sublimely combined is left to the individual imagination, as if daring each of us, as humans, as people, to envision something so tremendous. Two dollars seems like a trifle, almost suspicious in its frugality. My car-mates watch with interest as I unwrap the answer like a gift.

Jack In the Box Taco Nachos resemble a tray of vomit, the prodigious kind produced after a solid night out. Their bed of lettuce is rumpled, their grease stains the gray of a smoggy morning, their spill of easy-cheese congealed and chill to the touch. I use my plastic fork to have a bite, but my spirit is broken. I can not bear the sight any longer. In my mind's eye I construct an escapist recipe, a dream of crispy shells fat with refried beans and carne asada, sleeping under a warm blanket of cheddar-jack. I take the experience as a sign; it is like Newton's apple, like the proverbial butterfly beating its wings. At home, I can take this into my own hands. I can set this right. For me. For us all.

If Jack In the Box offered a Burrito Cake, I would totally try that too.

dumb flu

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:37:14 GMT

✄ Catie's post about top albums of the 00s! Contributions?
✄ Anon Meme still open!

I realize only now what a jerk face I have been, neglecting to thank greystrata and renshai for their delicious cookies and napkins for her card! So so sweet, you guys. Mairin I am using your pretty tin to store Moomin crackers and Italian Wedding cookies because I ate the yummy cookies you sent! /fat

dotiscute finished my Tae dress! As soon as I stop looking like death I will accessorize with shoes and belt! Still needs a hat.

Uuu traffic school tomorrow morning. I have the flu and I plan to share it.

*once in a while

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:05:30 GMT

ANON ✩✩✩ MEME

Comment anonymously with anything on your mind!
Spamming cute photos and gross stuff is encouraged.
But thoughtful and earnest things are too.
IP logging is off.

eh

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:21:49 GMT

GUESS MY PERSONALITY FROM MY USERPICS!
MY THREAD HERE

What a weird meme lolol

uuuuuuuuung

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 08:09:10 GMT

My back hurts from sleeping on a mattress softer than a wood plank (big issue for me;;;), but I am back home and ready to ravish all the work I've been putting off for uh a month? A MONTH.

As soon as I finish reading this Gentlemen of the Road fic *___*

Oh I forgots:

✩ icons @ houndstooth:

I love Au Revoir les Enfants all the more every time I watch it. Such a genuine, mature and practically flawless film... I don't know how else to describe it. I also appreciate it on a crass shota-classic level, but don't we all. On the screen capture rewatch I realized Jean says he is from Marseilles because he has been reading Dumas. Unnnn so much to unpack in every scene. But I don't like to watch to the end /weeps

sherlock holmes movie

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 03:40:11 GMT

Not so much an adaptation of a Victorian classic as a pure Guy Ritchie film. Bare-knuckle brawling. Explosions. As such, the actual homoeroticism was of a more subtextual quality than the top-billed bromance, which was charming but very perfunctory as far as mainstream dude relations go. Holmes and Watson might from time to time end up (accidentally) in one-another's arms, but that's all dispelled next scene when someone is getting a randy for All Around Perfect Wife or Manic Pixie Dream Girl (not Zooey Deschanel for once, but the other one). In this version the two of them are roommate best bros, not the colleagues of literature, but Guy Ritchie certainly knows how to capture bro mechanics: they share clothing. They ask one-another where this or that can be found around the house. They bicker companionably. They joke about gay overtones and touch and it's kinda touching, for all that a loud movie like this would dip into character growth or genuine emotion. Robert Downey always seems to achieve pitch-perfect chemistry with male costars, anyway, and I hope to get more of that in the guaranteed sequel. I would be pretty stoked to see more movies set in this universe, which isn't so much Holmesian, god-is-in-the-details mystery but straight filibuster adventure. It's fun and looks very attractive, with expensive costume design and photography run through some fine-ass blue and yellow filters. I am glad, too, that Hollywood still remembers how to make a good adventure movie in the vein of the Indiana Jones trilogy. This one could have been streamlined by cutting one of the less important set pieces, but the overall camp and quip levels are on par with even Doyle's penny-piece original. It is perhaps a little disappointing that mainstream buddy movies insist on doing the homo stuff for laughs, but this isn't the sort of film that would perpetrate anything as stimulus for thought. And I certainly wouldn't expect it to.

2009 in fandom

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 21:47:14 GMT

Meme from sung:

First Fandom of 2009: DSRK1!! Quietly shipping Narumi and Raidou because I didn't think anyone cared lolol. Chased by hard P4 rebound :C
Favorite Main Character of 2009: Can I say Albert de Morcerf is that cheating. Raidou and Yuri Lowell also.
Favorite Villain of 2009: Oh gosh. Like. Every dude in Abyss and Vesperia. ALEXEI LOLOLOL. My tender Alexei/Etelle fan fiction. Uuung Adachi maybe ...? whatever. Definitely not the Pale Rider that guy was a tool
Favorite Video Game Character of 2009: YES ADREED TTLY NARUMI ♥ My girlish squals whenever he says anything. Such sweet nothings. The games pavlovianly train you to love him and the office music but. (FOLLOWED BY: YOSUKE, SOUJI in this order)
Favorite Het Couple of 2009: What's a het couple asd;lsa; Sinking low this year. YOUKO/RAKUSHUN. god. reaching. WAIT: Kanji/Naoto, the most un-het het couple
Favorite Yuri Couple of 2009: RITA/ESTELLE 4 FR. Chie/Yukiko close second
Favorite Yaoi Slash Couple of 2009: ~~Yaoi~~ --> Homos /fixed. CAN I SAY KAVALIER AND CLAY IS THAT CHEATING as;dksa;dkas weeping weeping
Fandom That You Never Expected to Get Into: DSRK. Why do I even like it so much. Mystery
Fandom That Made an Unexpected Comeback: Swordspoint, Gankutsuou. I- I can never let go gkhaaa catiechu /reaches we will die loving this shit
Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: ALEC AND RICARDO. Mexican AUs of everything with Catie. Fffff Alberto and Franz go to Tijuana
Last Fandom of 2009: DSRK. Starting and finishing in the same fandom gosh;;; so traditional

♬♬~♡

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 20:48:13 GMT

OH MY GOD MY TWITTER FEED FROM LAST NIGHT.

last post of the aughts

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 01:18:40 GMT

Peace, 2009.
It's been real.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS MEME✮

my flist is 90% me today

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:12:57 GMT

❝icon c&c❞
me here

pretty things

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:58:47 GMT

ASDA;DKAS;KDA LAWNYYYYY WHAT HAS THE POSTAL SYSTEM DONE I- I can't even look at it. I am so so angry at their handling. What the fuck. Who does that. This has been a sad day

At least I got some very nice things for holiday gifts:

Post pictures of what you got that you liked, too. Cheer me up ok please

❧

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 23:47:09 GMT

Bye, snaggletooth. We had mad love for you shorty.

/a loser

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 23:19:52 GMT

WELCOME outcasts, inquisitory, and unobsolete!

Thanks to solipsized (as always!!) -- who as of last night ALSO has me listening to Hunx and His Punx, GAY GARAGE-PUNK FINALLY OH MY GOSH lolol Mahsa please never stop sending me music -- I have spent the weekend and most certainly will spend the coming month with You Need Pony Pony Run Run. They are a little Cars, a little Phoenix, a little Daft Punk. I am satisfied. The amount of remixes I have for their single is ridic: please see favorites below.

☆ PPRR - Hey You
☆ PPRR - Hey You (Crystal Fighters Mix)
☆ PPRR - Hey You (Instant Replay Mix)
☆ PPRR - Hey You (Primal Fever Mix)

+ BONUS

☆ MGMT - Electric Feel (Justice Mix)

(´ο`)=3

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:13:42 GMT

friends cut

I've friends-cut about 400 dead journals and people I am no longer very close to, having not cleaned out my flist in years! Not a biggie since my LJ is rarely locked, but if I screwed up and you'd like me to re-add you, please let me know in this post! Thank you and it's ok to hate me;;;;

*

❀ tsukudocho tsukudocho tsukudocho
❀ 81 DSRK &etc icons : HOUNDSTOOTH
❀ December mix : 8TRACKS

tsukudocho ☽ join join join

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:50:12 GMT

Someone took my copy of Kavalier & Clay. What kind of monster does that. Pretty sure I didn't lend it out as I am not ready to part with it. Had to check out another from the library, uuu at least I faced up to my late fees I guess;;;

*

short reviews of movies i have seen

❥ The Princess and the Frog
My favorite part is where Prince Naveen gets tied down with snakes. I was like, KEEP GOING, MOVIE! I LIKE WHERE YOU ARE GOING! Initially I read the title as "The Frog Princess," which is the Russian version of the folk tale. Come to think, not an entirely inaccurate titular variation. Having grown up under a regime that still had some censorship, I missed the chance to come to Disney as a wonder-filled preteen. The Lion King was the first film I saw in American theaters, and by then I was eleven and far too old to buy unironically into the magic. I read Disney critically, which is usually fine but in certain cases upsetting. It makes me feel I have grown cold to certain kinds of starry-eyed wonder. To me this movie was entertaining, bright and visually rich -- I love everything 20s to mid-century, and the costumes and settings did not disappoint. Tiana's dream sequence was particularly buoyant and charming! Cropped hair! Smart suits!! Zydeco music!!! I am happy to spend 10 bucks in support of 2D animation. What a pure form. But throughout I could not shake the sense of a multimillion dollar machine revving up to churn out another Princess. Disney has always been safe in their flagship features, and this movie especially was walking on eggshells. It didn't tell me anything new. But I am glad, at least, that little girls the world over will be able to be Tiana when they roleplay Princesses with their friends. Maybe I am just upset that the whole thing was frogs frogs frogs and hardly had any flappers at all.

❥ Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The opening credit design blew me away, and then I laughed so hard. By myself. Alone in a big house that echoed. Exceptionally stylish for a movie without any style at all. Did anyone do any Los Angeles research for this, or is it just self-aware and funny for struggling actresses to be shown living in spacious ocean-view condos? Or for "it" people to legitimately inhabit Downtown? The whole thing is kind of a mess, actually. I was so disappointed when the middle sagged; it was like dropping a baby. I understand what drives this story, its antecedents and why it wants to be a B-film, but it gets caught up in its own cleverness far too often. Nevertheless Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer pull it out of the muck and make everything work all over again. Their scenes have such hilarious chemistry!

❥ Happy Together
I am so sick of Wong Kar Wai's shit!!! "This is a story about longing." No way, seriously? How novel. The downside of beautiful visuals is that they get dated, and the superficial beauty of this film -- which is as always exquisitely shot and colored -- pales when slotted after, say, the superficial beauty of The Lovely Bones. I will only stare at 2 minutes of straight rapturous footage of an enormous South American waterfall if I am already in the tank with the story and characters. The central couple does a visceral enough job of illustrating what it means to love someone but be unable to coexist with them in a relationship, but like 30 minutes in I was just all, Leave that freeloading asshole and get with Chang!! Chang is nice! But no, the Tony Leung character just weeps unintelligibly into a tape recorder and then steals a photo from Chang's bedroom. COPOUT! Granted, sexual preferences here were handled terrifically. I believed them. Oh also I guess I was moved and stuff by the unchanging bleakness of life in exile. In Argentina and Taipei, in Hong Kong, all lonely people are the same.

*

I am spending Christmas in Palm Springs! A beautiful place. I have a brunch party to go to in Torrance tomorrow, too. What a busy day!!

For Palm Springs I am taking a book and two movies I have been eager to see:

❥ A Single Man
...okay tom ford

❥ The Great Mouse Detective
magaliiiii said this was the mouse version of Beekeeper's Apprentice

recap

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 05:47:03 GMT

I started off last week in a big mood about having to cancel all plans and emergency-house-sit for my parents. They are usually non-thankful to me for things that "only involve disappointing my friends", because my mom feels that family should come first. I did not want to bring up objections, though, because I am not sure how much time I will get to spend with family in the coming year -- which looks like it could throw a lot of locational and vocational curve balls -- and I want to make that time nice! Instead of making a ruckus I threw some clothes into the car, drove to Malibu County, and made the best of it. It was not hard; I got some work done, I AM NO LONGER WORD PRESS ILLITERATE!!! Take it, 2006! Even though the house is big and full of mysterious floor-creaks and the wind makes funny sounds when it blows in from the sea.

Once I stopped crying I got to see dotiscute's winning graduation speech! And meet her friends and treat her to dinner and talk about jobs and drink gimlets and eat pear tarts and stumble amiably around Hollywood! The Russians are still running that sketchy Deli on Sunset where everything is stale and their matchbooks advertise bail bonds.

catiechu came up on Friday to catch Tommy and B's show at 2nd Street Jazz, a location where we would end up every noon for the next 2 days for no fathomable reason except that the Starbucks next door has a free bathroom. Saturday we attempted to visit Santee Alley and the Fashion District, but were thoroughly routed by our inability to do anything responsible before 3 in the afternoon. (That morning I had spent 90 minutes over coffee at Solar, creating and posting White Collar macros to Tumblr while chuckling softly at their genius.)

We retreated to Emma's and got ready for her British Invasion themed costume party! Catie was a school girl, sairobi showed up as the cutest of Harry Potters, and kyburg brought those paper popper things that evidently people in England use to celebrate Boxing Day or whatever. They were loud and I did not like them, but inside there were papers with jokes printed on, using words like Pram and Plum Pudding. Whatever those are? Emma convinced me to dress as a mod, though I ended up looking more ye-ye, not by accident. My eyeliner pencil broke and I jabbed myself in the eye a million times trying to apply a Kaneko-like coat of black, but I think I looked ok. We talked a lot about Devil Summoners and French comic books and uh I don't remember. Donna brought Beaujolais and I missed Paris a little ♥

Uuuuu we did make it to the Fashion District the following day, but we kind of lost my car for a while. Since the whole area is like MEXICO CITY AT CHRISTMAS we had to go by roads and alleys because there was no room on the sidewalks for all the vendors and parents with strollers and fat ladies oooof. We found my car an hour later, having bought a lot of gifts for everybody and seen some wicked hip cotton prints I should have photographed;;;;;

Then Catie and I drove home and watched LA Confidential (my favorite movie.... ever????? :9) and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which I have only heard of recently. They were both gay, though I am not sure which is gayer. Catie supposes it is LA Confidential.

Last night I saw the Frog Princess Disney film, which was ok, and tomorrow my maaan and I are going to see Kurosawa's Rashomon at the Ken. SO EXCITED NNN we got cheap seats but I am still happy to have tickets

bag meme &

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 01:35:04 GMT

❤ motorbike.tumblr.com
ADD ME I WILL FLOOD U

❤ a bunny charm from colette!
I made a pilgrimage here when I was in Paris! But I couldn't really afford anything so

❤ what's in my purse meme via terrorcandy and milkfed
catiechu and I traveled up to Los Angeles this weekend, to visit the Fashion District and attend dotiscute's Holiday Party! More on all that later, the point is I am coming home with a bag stuffed with overnight supplies and recent purchases. I live like a hobo, snarling at passers-by

My bag is just an Old Navy Plus Size Tote I got on sale. It stays looking clean, fits my 17" laptop :O and has a very comfortable shoulder strap. If you love big bags and using your hands to drink coffee and eat bagels while you walk, this bag could be an ideal companion for you as well!

01. Mad Men Season One Box Set, a gift from dotiscute! I LOVE
02. iPhone and an Otogico pouch for it! I do not like iPhone cases.
03. Zumreeds and a pink splitter for a friend
04. Song in D Minor fragrance by Tokyo Milk, a gift from catiechu. It smells very fancy
05. Peach lip balm
06. Tiny Lollia hand creme
07. Pill box with aspirin and Vitamin C in it.
08. Loose powder and puff
09. Business cards
10. Moleskine and a pen I swiped from the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel :3
inside there are mostly maps

11. Misaki Matsushima fragrance. It smells like spring!
12. Pictures of dinosaurs destroying cities and eating people. LONDON IN FLAMES!
13. Liner pencils I got in Santee Alley for 50 cents each! They are decent
14. A little pouch for my products. The way I got it makes a funny story!
15. Hair bands. SUPER STAR ☆☆☆
16. A mix from my bf, so non twee :D
17. Monte Cristo cigarettes from Paris. Their logo is CROSSED SABERS ASDASDASK

18. Matches! Vintage Chinese box, so pretty
19. Tooth brush, very important! Dental hygiene
20. Keys with Assime Asspo lanyard that often outs me to other geeks, so embarrassing
21. Business cards I got this weekend, etc.
22. Sunglasses from the Fashion District. The lens tint is perfect, a warm chocolate brown
23. Casual earrings (I also brought fancy ones)
24. WATER IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT especially after a party
25. Mock snake skin wallet from Fashion District
26. Tender is the Night. A very heavy 60s edition I wish I had another;;;;
27. A worked silver bangle my grandfather got on the Black Sea. Sadly it's not very comfortable

✁✁✁

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:38:15 GMT

I hate going to bed drunk; I always wake up ~2 hours later and can not go back to sleep! So uh I spent seven hours dozing miserably on the balcony and coming up things I would like to write! I think everyone writes New York Stories but nobody writes Los Angeles Stories -- not unless they are detective noir anyway. (LA Confidential is so good of course as,djksa sogood)

But like. Can anyone think of a really defining LA Book or Movie.

If you say Crash I will defriend you

*

dotiscute has been working on costumes for next con season AND LOOK WHAT'S FOR ME

LOOK AT IT USING YOUR EYES ARE YOU LOOKING

I need to find a lavender cloche how do I do that oh right uo
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ EMSSSSS I L U

♣♣♣

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:18:45 GMT

solipsized

☆☆☆

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:51:28 GMT

★ Thank you Katie for your gift! I was so surprised! I will put to to good use uuuuu
You guys spacetart is the nicest person

★ Jen Wang is selling original watercolors again! Look at this painting and this one!!
I want to do the guy in the dance lesson piece

★ Last call for holiday mail greetings!

Going to attend dotiscute's graduation from fashion school today! My parents are stuck in Africa for an extra week this year, so I am house-sitting for them to Malibu. I am woken up by big white shaggy dogs to make coffee and eat Bosch pears and dry my hair in the sun whilst mentally writing the next epic section of my Kavalier & Clay fan fiction.

Also catiechu is coming up here on Friday so I won't have to be as lonely;;;;;;

pretty good for gifts!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 00:47:42 GMT

A post of things pretty good for gifts!

But first, thanks solipsized for a new rec-post! YOU GUYS SHE POSTS THE BEST MUSIC. HANDS DOWN. This Pony Pony Run Run track. I like "Mondegreen" a lot too! Still pretty hot on Yeasayer's single by the way:

YEASAYER - AMBLING ALP
YEASAYER - AMBLING ALP (MEMORY TAPES REMIX)

*

❄❄❄ONLINEITEMS

_

❄ 3191: a year of mornings $14 / amazon

_

❄ mariage frères teas $22-23 / market hall

_

❄ hq posters $30 / the small stakes

_

❄ posters $20-30 / studio violet

_

❄ headbands that look good on me $32 / anthro

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❄ poster prints $20 / christopher david ryan

_

❄ pouches $25-50 / oktak

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❄ pesquiera marinero cardigan $89 / bird

_

❄ lucite lariat $138 / gretchen walker

_

❄ 2010 calendar $40 / lena corwin

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❄ hand-painted cards $32 / jamie shelman

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❄ atri skirt $72 / mociun

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❄ necklaces $25-30 / anna gonick

_

❄ holiday cards $12 / caitlin keegan

_

❄ prints and knits $6-17 / wonder wonder

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❄ handmade animals $ by request / sian keegan

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❄ scrabble ring $5 / etsy

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❄ twisting tree ring $7 / modcloth

_

whew!

also i am mûre on steepster add me

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 09:17:22 GMT

Sign up for holiday mail greetings~
( ^ _ ^)∠☆PAN！

I spent the better part of the day assembling, sealing, and mailing out packages! 5cmprince your oversize Petit Prince pop up book -- which delights me as it would a bougy 8 year old whose mom shops at Anthro -- is on its way towards you as I type!

( ^ _ ^)∠☆PAN！

I just want to use this emoticon forever
like, I AM FESTIVELY SHOOTING LOUD STARS AT YOU

Today I also bought a pair of Kelsi Dagger boots on Overstock! I shop for clothes semi annually, for tank tops and such in spring and for boots in the fall. The Tahari riding boots I bought last Thanksgiving have gotten pretty ratty, which makes me sad because they barely lasted a year!! The zipper on the left boot somehow forgot how to zip while I was uh walking across Paris, so I had to safety pin it back together and hobble like a thousand blocks to the international dorms and now I have to figure out how zippers get cut out of / sewn into things?

You may think you know how, but the concept is more advanced than it seems.

I like how the zippers on these face outward, so they don't snag your tights.

a million posts!!!!!!!

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:13:30 GMT

Sorry it has been a while.

♔ seaking @ playfire.com

♔ nat @ formspring.me

all eyes roll

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:29:04 GMT

Making this post because idk how many fans of the New Pornographers are aware of Newman's solo work. I sure wasn't until someone literally put The Slow Wonder, his first LP effort, into my hot little hands! Since Newman writes most of the music and lyrics for the New Pornographers, his releases are like Great Lost Pornos Records. Same sound, same virtuosity with time signatures and layered melodies, but now a little more minimal. The Slow Wonder tracks that stayed with me the longest have been the quietest; not in this new Challengers-type chamber-y manner to which the Pornos have grown particular, but rather coming off charged with the fickering energy of spaces between sounds, interspersed with big climactic crashes.

It might take a few listens to get into these songs, strong as their hooks may be, since Get Guilty is Newman's weaker record -- and a decidedly more grown-up one. He's lived a lot since the summer of 2004. Then again, "The Collected Works" is basically his take on "Fat Bottomed Girls", so draw your own conclusions. The lyrics, too, are spare but eminently shoutable. I FOUGHT MY WAY THROUGH TO THE WEST SIDE FOR YOU!! etc. ♔

The Palace at 4 a.m.

.zip

The Palace at 4 a.m.

"...a period of six months passed in the presence of a woman who, concentrating all life in herself, transported my every moment into a state of enchantment. We constructed a fantastical palace in the night—a very fragile palace of matches. At the least false movement a whole section would collapse. We always began it again."

Lynnex you baller you have a sweet million

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:47:04 GMT

Thank you guys for the lj gifts! Those snowflakes inspired me to make tiny sandwich cookies out of felt and cotton! If you want some, you can leave your name and address below! I will even throw in a card with maybe a picture of Lenin on it

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